


Once More, With Sincerity

by thekumquat



Series: Proposals Are Hard [2]
Category: Cable and Deadpool
Genre: Fluff, and very nearly a plot!, feat assorted x-men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 19:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17007543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekumquat/pseuds/thekumquat
Summary: There's a big, creepy, psychic tentacle monster making a mess downtown, and the X-Men are having some trouble coming up with a way to take it down.  Nathan has an idea -- and this time Wade's going to like it.Nobody else will though.Sequel to Petty Doesn't Look Good on Us





	Once More, With Sincerity

“Why are psychic monsters always shaped like giant brains?” Wade asked. The monster turned slowly, one impossibly giant eye roving towards him.

Both Jubilee and Emma grabbed him by the arms and hauled him back down behind the half-destroyed wall, out of sight.

“Stop standing up!” Jubilee hissed at him. “It’s going to see you!”

“Well so- _rry_ ,” Wade grumbled. “Wait, one more time.”

“ _Wade-!”_

“I _knew_ it,” he said, dropping back down. “This thing is a _blatant_ rip-off of the tentacle monster from _Watchmen_. Beak, weird brain head, tentacles—except the one in _Watchmen_ didn’t walk on the tentacles and it didn’t shoot eyebeams, it just kinda landed on people.”

“Could someone _please_ make him stop,” Jubilee asked the world at large.

“Statistically speaking, no.”

“Alright, I’ve seen enough,” Emma said, rubbing her forehead. “We need to go back.”

They awkwardly crouch-walked their way back to the mostly-intact 7-11 the X-Men (and Wade) had turned into their temporary base. Straight confrontation had gone disastrously: the thing was shielded from bullets and absorbed psychic attacks of any kind. Since the team consisted of three psychics, a walking sparkler, claws, and lasers (and Wade), they were going to need a very creative solution.

“We’re back,” Emma announced. She swept through the entrance with a level of drama that seemed wholly out of place amongst the debris of snack cakes and exploded soda bottles.  “Some news, and it isn’t great.” In a slightly softer tone of voice, she asked “how is she?”

Scott’s frown deepened.

“She’s awake. She says she’s fine.” It was clear from his tone that he did not agree.

 Jean had tried a frontal assault on the monster, attempting to overload it with psychic energy. She had to be carried away from the battle.  Logan and Scott had refused to leave her side while Wade, Jubilee, and Emma went on their scouting run, preferring to stand vigil. It was exhaustingly predictable of both them and her. Wade hadn’t been worried; she’d just come back from the dead a year ago. She had a little more time before they’d do something like permanently stick her in a coma.

Wade made a beeline for Nathan in that way where he was trying to look like he wasn’t. Hovering by the twinkies for a while, pretending to debate between the cherry and strawberry twizzlers, all gradually scooting his way across the store until he was next to Nathan. The man was sitting with his back to the wall, legs crossed, apparently deep in meditation.

Wade knew better, though. He knew that particular wrinkle in Nathan’s forehead, and it meant he had a real monster of a headache. Nathan hadn’t suffered as badly as Jean but he’d been very pale when they fled from the monster. Wade didn’t like that At All.

He rattled a bottle of pills by Nathan’s ear, making his eyes snap open.

“I got you some aspirin from a CVS we passed on our way out. I don’t know if they’re any good against attacks from giant squid brain things, but it couldn’t hurt.”

Nathan smiled.

“Worth a try,” he said. “My head feels like it’s about to split in two.” He reached up, but his hand lingered, fingertips brushing at the small strip of skin between Wade’s glove and sleeve. A warm, bright smile smoothed away the worry line. “Thank you, Wade.”

“Whatever,” Wade said, not quite managing to hide the squeak.

_If he keeps doing this, we might actually die._

Nathan had been acting very strange, the last few weeks. Always finding an excuse to touch Wade or stand near him. Sneaking away from the others when they were at the mansion so they could make out in dark corners and closets like teenagers. Watching him with a strange little smile whenever Wade wasn’t looking, but only smiling more when Wade caught him.  

At first Wade thought it was Nathan trying to make up for the whole “let’s get married to spite everyone who doesn’t take our relationship seriously” debacle, except Nathan knew he was over the whole thing and he was still doing it. (Well, relatively sure he knew. They hadn’t exactly talked about it. Wade preferred to pretend it hadn’t happened. It kept him from worrying that that might have been his only chance.)

Don’t get it wrong, the extra flirting and making out was _great_ , and Wade really liked it. It was just that Wade liked it so much it made his brain forget how to do brain things right.

Nathan made to dry-swallow the aspirin, but Wade grabbed his wrist.

“Nuh-uh! Do you have any idea how bad that is for you? Take it with something.”

“Wade,” Nathan started, with a fond-yet-exasperated smile.

“Don’t you ‘Wade’ me, buster.” He began to rummage around in the busted refrigerators until he found a few bottles of room-temperature Gatorade ™. “Here. Replenish your electrolytes while not burning a hole in your esophagus.”  

“Be careful,” Nathan warned. “People might start to think you care.”

“I’m trying to protect your reputation as someone who isn't a total dingus,” Wade said, watching carefully to make sure Nathan actually drank. “You should be thanking me.”

Nathan gulped the last of the drink and stood. He was just a little bit too far into Wade’s personal space again, giving him that same heated look.

“Thank you,” he said, trailing his fingertips up Wade’s arm. “I appreciate it.”

Then something happened to Nathan’s expression. His eyebrows came down and his eyes flicked over Wade’s face, like he was trying to read him through the mask. Which was _weird_ , because Nathan never had any trouble reading Wade. Like, ever.

“Wade, I…there’s something…Look, I’ve been thinking, and—“

“Hey,” Jubilee called. “You guys coming or what?”

The weird expression rapidly morphed into the much more familiar ‘annoyance at the world at large’. Nathan sighed heavily.

“Nevermind. We’re coming,” he called back. Wade stared after him, mystified, then shook himself and followed.

“Emma, what can you tell us?” Nathan asked, now in full Messiah Mode.

“Not much, except that it isn’t just absorbing psychic energy, it’s feeding on it. I’m pretty sure its default is to sustain itself on the emotions of people around it.”

“Only pretty sure?” Nathan asked. 

“I can’t touch its mind for too long or it starts sucking at me— _don’t_.” This to Wade, who had opened his mouth.

“So if we cut off its supply of emotions, it’ll shut down,” Jubilee said. Emma made a noise that, coming from a poorer and uglier woman, would have been a snort.

“And how exactly do you intend to shut down its supply?” she asked, nastily. “It’s in the middle of a city. Unless you can find a way to teleport it somewhere a good fifty miles in any direction from any sentient creature--“

“Tennessee?” Wade suggested.

“I can say this,” Emma said, ignoring him. “Every time I touch its mind and it starts sucking— _don’t_ – I always feel one overwhelming emotion. Just one at a time, and always very basic. I don’t think it can handle anything complex.”

“So if we gave it a high concentration of a wide range of emotions all at once, it would overwhelm it?” Nathan asked. Emma shrugged.

“Maybe.”

“ _Maybe?_ ” Scott said. His voice was tight with worry and anger. “ _Maybe_ isn’t good enough!”

“Well _maybe_ is all you’re going to get!” Emma snapped back. “I’m doing the best I can, Scott. I’m not a miracle worker! I’m trying to be careful.” 

“Jean already tried overwhelming it, and it didn’t work. We need a different plan.”

“Jean tried a straight attack of pure psychic energy, and she didn’t do anything to shield herself. This is different.”

Scott bristled instantly.

“That was _not_ her fault.”

“Scott, it’s fine—“  

“Of course it is! She decided to run in half-cocked— _don’t!”_

 _“_ I have an idea,” Nathan said calmly, taking advantage of the break in her tirade. “But we need to get close.”

“I don’t think I’d be much good,” Jean admitted. “Emma’s right. I’m burnt out.”  

 _“_ I’m staying with her,” Scott said, firmly.

“No, you aren’t,” Nathan said, firmlyer. “If this is going to work, you both definitely need to be there.”

 

 

They were less than a block away from the monster. They could hear the slick, sticky sound of its tentacles dragging along the ground. Whenever it let out that awful, piercing roar, they all flinched, feeling it rip straight through them.

“Okay, so we’re here,” Jubilee whispered, back pressed against the wall. “Now what’s this great big plan of yours?”

Instead of answering, Nathan grabbed Wade’s hand and pulled him slightly away from the others. Wade followed, finally starting to worry. Nathan was secretive about his schemes on a good day, but there was something about his demeanor that was setting off alarm bells in Wade’s head.

**If this is another Providence type plan, I say we preemptively murder him.**

_Co-signed._

“Motion carried,” Wade murmured. Nathan didn’t seem to hear him. Once they were in a space relatively clear of rubble, he turned and took both of Wade’s hands in his own.  

“I know you wanted a big production. I was trying to think of a speech on the way over here but I couldn’t come up with anything good.” Nathan’s mouth twitched into something a little too sickly to be a smile. His throat worked hard and that weird expression came back, tight and twitchy and--

He’s _nervous_ , Wade realized. When was the last time he had ever seen Nathan _nervous?_ Scared, once or twice, uncertain several times, even uneasy, but _nervous?_

Nathan went down on one knee, and Wade’s heart stopped beating.

**omigod**

 “I love you. Will you marry me?”

Wade’s palms went sticky. Was this actually happening? Was this a hallucination? It didn’t _seem_ like a hallucination, since Nathan was still fully clothed, but this sure as hell couldn’t be actually happening.

“I, I’m, I don’t—wait, are you only asking me because you think it’ll kill the monster, because Nathan I _swear to god—“_

“No, Wade. I’m asking you for real, because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. _Only_ with you.”  

The word came out of Wade’s mouth so fast he almost choked on it.

“ _Yes_.”

The monster let out a horrific, ear-splitting shriek of agony, so loud that everyone winced and clapped their hands to their ears. Everyone but Wade and Nathan, who were staring at each other and smiling. Nathan stood, slowly, Wade’s hands still clasped in his, as the monster exploded with a horrible _shlorp_ noise.

Purple goo splattered down around them like sticky rain. Huge globs of monster brains crushed cars and left small craters in the streets. Nathan was wearing the biggest, happiest smile Wade had ever seen on his face.  Judging from the way his cheeks were starting to hurt, Wade was too.

“I know you mentioned fireworks,” he said. “I hope that’s close enough.”

“Shut up,” Wade said, trying very hard to pretend like he wasn’t about to cry, fumbling to pull his mask up over his nose. “Shut up and kiss me right now.”

Nathan leaned in and Wade went up on his tiptoes and there were car alarms shrieking in the background and everything smelled vaguely like fish and it was the single greatest moment of Wade’s life. Their lips were a millimeter away when--

 “ _A_ _re you out of your mind?”_

Nathan sighed.

“Scott—” he started. Wade grabbed his head and yanked him right back down, kissing him hard. Nathan leaned into it, and the two wrapped their arms around each other. Vaguely Wade heard Emma saying "he's kidding, right? It's a joke." 

"I think it's sweet," Jean said, defensively. Wade was momentarily surprised, then mentally wadded up everything that wasn't Nathan and tossed it into a trash can. Nathan was smiling against his lips, and Wade could feel that his heart was beating a little faster than normal. Who cared what the X-Dorks thought? Nathan was  _his_. For real this time. 

**An astounding improvement from last time. A+**

_If I had hands I'd be applauding._

After a few more eternities, Nathan asked “Better?” Wade wasn’t sure if he meant the proposal or the kissing. Either way…

“I think you nailed it,” he said with a grin.

“Nathan!” Scott shouted, but they were already kissing again.


End file.
